How to be a happy empath

Years ago, I saw a movie called “KPAX” about a psychiatric patient who claimed to be an alien from another planet. The movie purposely left you wondering if he was or not. I’ve forgotten most of the plot, but one humorous scene lives in my mind forever. He was in an institution and had been given his lunch. Curiously, he pondered a banana on the tray, then picked it up, bit into it with zeal, including the peel!  Chewing vigorously, he looked and proclaimed, “Your produce alone is worth the trip!”

I laughed myself silly, not so much because the line was inherently funny but because I feel that way often! Give me some good red raspberries or a ripe peach, a watermelon oozing juice and squirting seeds, or a crunchy apple, and I’d readily agree! The produce alone is worth the trip to Earth! As is the smell of fresh basil, the sounds of the birds, and the morning sun on my face. The texture of a soft fleece blanket, the scent of orange blossom oil, the sound of a haunting melody or 70’s dance music, a touch, a hug, a smile… it is all worth the trip into this 3D reality. The joy is in the little gems as much as in the magic moments, and our senses give us good cause to love this life.

Meanwhile, simultaneously, I experience myself as an energetic being. Hiking through the forest, I often perceive myself as a ripple in the field, rippling the other forms in the field, and feeling them ripple me back. Hard to describe, but I feel waves and sensations of interaction between myself and the natural world.

Like many of you, I’m so sensitive that I feel a bee zipping through my aura, or a wave of sadness flowing through me as the earth receives a piece of difficult news. I’ve felt the buzz of energy spiraling through my body, only to learn later that a solar flare had just hit the Earth, and I’ve felt sensations sharp as knives in my gut when people were angry. I feel my friends and loved ones at a distance, and in reading, no matter where a person lives, I feel their loved ones in spirit as if we have become one.

Many of you feel these things too. The world of energy is phenomenal, not local, and would make you feel crazy if you weren’t aware of these unseen energies. Even knowing about them, it can be challenging to feel so deeply.

Being an empath was a huge challenge for me until I learned the power of tuning away from what feels bad and gave myself permission to do it.  I used to think being empathic meant “taking on” other people’s energies, as if someone were dumping their trash in my aura. Although I may still use those words at times, I now understand things more deeply.

We empaths are super-tuners, aware of the energies around us in ways that others aren’t. Musicians notice the nuances of instruments and harmonies in a song. Artists notice numerous shades and intensities of color in a painting. Foodies notice the depths of spice and flavor in a recipe. Perfumers notice the floral notes in a scent, and sommeliers (wine experts) can discern what type of grapes are in the wine and what type of barrel they were aged in.

Suddenly, those of us who are naturally empathic become just another group of people, whose superpower is discerning nuances in the energy all around us. We are, in a way, connoisseurs of energy!

A wine taster might spit out a wine that I think it pefectly fine, while insisting on one aged far more delicately. A foodie might find that a certain amount of spice can make or break a dish, while I can’t tell the difference. Likewise, those of us who are more sensitive to energy have to be a little more careful and conscious about our tuning. It is a life skill that we learn in much the same way that any expert learns the nuances of their field.

Suddenly, being empathic seems less of a burden and more of a skill. We can learn to tune.

Making this far more grounded and practical, when I feel something wonderful, I stop, savor it, focus on it, and attempt to memorize the feeling.

When I feel something unpleasant I switch to thinking about something better.

For example, I can still recall feelings of awe one morning in mid-October in an autumn forest. I was feezing cold and had climbed a hill to catch the first warm rays of sun.  Waiting in the dark, chilly forest, in silence, with only a faint rustle of leaves, I watch a glimmer appear over the mountains in the distance. Suddenly, the sun burst over the horizon, sweeping golden rays over the forest like a spotlight, and illuminating the colors like a wildfire. It felt like a symphony approaching a crescendo. I caught my breath, reveled in the majesty of the moment, and memorized the feeling. I can shut my eyes and go there, to this day.

Everyone has the ability to imprint their magic moments.  Most parents say they can still remember the incredible feeling when their child was born. Older couples often light up as they recall the moment they fell in love. We remember the triumph of overcoming obstacles, enjoying love, and having exquisite meals, and these memories are ways we can tune into love at will.

Next time you feel something unpleasant, try to recall a pleasant feeling—the feel of your favorite blanket, the taste of your favorite beverage, your dog’s smile and go-for-a-walk excitement, or your first crush. More importantly, remember how those things feel.  In a second, you can tune into love and realign with your soul.

There is nothing more important in the empath’s toolbox than the ability to tune into something good-feeling, especially when something or someone around you doesn’t feel so good.

In readings, as I listen to people’s toughest challenges, grief, and pain, the angels and I tune into love. We focus on loving them, and in that love, I-the-human can witness their pain with deep compassion and care, rather than “taking it on” or more accurately attuning to it. And now, even when someone dumps on me, I just love. I imagine healing light flowing through my heart to theirs. I don’t take responsibility for making it all better or figuring it out. I simply flow the light. And in that flow, I feel good, not about their pain or their words, but about my ability to get in the stream of love in spite of it all.

Permission, dear empaths, not to obsess over the pain of the world, not to worry about the pain of others, but rather to love, to care, to have compassion without pity, and to see each soul as connected to the Divine and capable of receiving their own help. This one thing has changed my life.

Knowing how to become “tuners more than do-ers” as the angels say, is a learned skill, but one that can make our sensory 3D world infinitely more enjoyable!

Here are a few pointers to help you practice what the angels call “the soulful skill of tuning!”

1.  “Be” Before “Doing”

If you can remember that “B’ comes before ‘D” in the alphabet, you can remember to “Be” before “Doing.”

When a challenge presents itself, stop before springing into action. Sit. Breathe and receive your angels’ love, if only for a minute. How do you want the outcome to feel? Go there. Imagine the best possible outcome. Now imagine it better. Feel it. Then, and only then, ask, “What next?” Being before doing saves you time, energy, effort, and aligns you with the easiest path to what you desire.

2. “Flow Love” instead of “Taking on” pain

As I mentioned earlier, you can’t feel pain while attuned to love. You can’t “take on” others’ problems while you’re loving them and holding a vision for their solutions. No matter how much someone wants to dump on you, you will not feel it if you can flow the love outward towards them.

I frequently look in their eyes as if they were the most beautiful beings on earth while they dump on me. I point my hand to the floor to symbolize draining off negative energy. And I tell myself internally, “not about me, not about me, not about me.” These are just mental tools that remind me to flow the love out rather than allowing the rest to wobble me out of love.

3. Make tuning a playful game.

I’ve recently started doing something simple but so effective. I tell myself either internally or out loud, “This is what I’m doing now. This is what I’m creating now.”

“Now, I’m making breakfast. In this moment, I live to create breakfast. I am creating a delicious breakfast,” and with that simple statement of focus, I pour all my love into my veggies and eggs, remember to make the coffee, decide I want to make it even better by adding a little frothed milk and maple syrup, and have a feast for body and senses. It took no more time than usual. In fact, it goes more quickly because I’m focused, tuned intently and intentionally on the here and now.

Try to focus intentionally only on what you are doing next and tune into the best possible experience you want to have. The more you break the day down into smaller portions and focus intentionally on those smaller portions, the easier it is to start seeing the results of your tuning.

3. Play “Would you rather?”

When something unpleasant grabs your attention, play the “would you rather” game:

Would you rather think about the person who gave you an attitude or the one who gave you a compliment?

Would you rather think about something in the news or pet your dog?

Would you rather stress about bills, or hold a penny and say, “More of these, please?”

Make up the choices.  One is presented by life. One is playfully created by you!

Have a little fun with this, and soon you’ll see attuning to love isn’t as hard as we make it to be.

We all have the power to tune our own energy. We all have the power to notice our feelings as indicators of whether we’re amplifying or dampening our good energy. And we all have the capability to flow through this field of infinite love in a ways that feel far kinder.

If only the world knew we are not victims of one another, but rather super-tuners, still learning to wield the wand of our amazing focus, we’d revel in the precious gifts of this sensory experience and enjoy all life has to offer.

Have a blessed week,
Love,
Ann