Diversity and Pickles

Hi Everyone,

As a result of talking to thousands of peole over the years, I’ve heard the best stories. In this one, the little girl was very certain about her tastes. She wanted a plain burger—beef, bun, mustard, ketchup, and, God forbid, no pickles or other strange vegetables that did not—in her young estimation—belong in her food! That’s what was ordered, but unfortunately not what arrived.

She bit into her hamburger and immediately made a face that emanated pure disgust. “Ew!! Pickles!” Yet she kept chewing.  Her expression morphed from disgust to discovery.  She took another bite of the burger, looked up in surprise, and proclaimed, “I kind of like pickles!”  And just like that, her world expanded!

We’re all like that to some extent. We form clear ideas about what we like and don’t like, and that’s perfectly fine. Some of these preferences are based on actual experience. We’ve tasted something and clearly know whether we like it or not. We’ve explored a certain type of job, home, or relationship and have identified our preferences.  Other preferences are based on our ideas, concepts, programs, or a singular life experience that we’ve extrapolated to all similar experiences.

These preferences of ours are fine, expected, and part of our unique personality. They help us choose how we live, love, and create. Where they become limiting is when they make us rigid and righteous.

There’s nothing wrong with having your own tastes, styles, beliefs, and desires. But we constrict when we insist on sameness, close ourselves off to new experiences, or refuse even to hear different perspectives. Life becomes safe, predictable, and boring.

My friends, family, and I share common values despite our many differences. We care about being respectful, kind, and loving. In fact, I no longer spend any private time with those who can’t be kind. Yet that’s where the need for sameness ends.  I enjoy people of many beliefs, persuasions, and ideologies. I find the differences fascinating.

As a result of talking to random people about random topics at random times and, more importantly, listening, I’ve met salty old cowboys who now make jewelry ladders out of cactus ribs, Native American shamans, Hindu saints, death doulas, a young woman who studies bats, an older gentleman who educated me about lighting, a plumber who went on paranormal investigations, staunch republicans, diehard democrats, and everyone in between.

I’ve met Buddhists, Catholics, Hindus, Mystics, Methodists, and more. I’ve heard from people growing up in so many cultures that I can’t count. And they’re lovely, amazing, interesting people. My life is far richer from hearing the diversity of their stories, and I’m far more compassionate after hearing their perspectives.

Diversity improves life in so many ways. Meals are tastier when you share recipes. My garden grows better after watching a variety of YouTube gardeners. My health benefits from exploring various healing modalities. And whether I like a book or not I learn from it. Life is amazing and vast. I’ll resonate with some, and not with others, but its a lot of fun to see what’s out there.

In one class I teach, I ask a few simple questions:

Is coffee good for you?
Does chocolate support your well-being?
And so on…

And while many of you know the answers to these questions, something powerful happens when you listen to other perspectives. You realize you know what’s right for you.

As we move through our journey on earth, it serves us to stay open.

Explore the diversity. You don’t have to agree with it all. You don’t have to incorporate it all in your life. Nonetheless, you will richly benefit from sampling the buffet of life and learning from new experiences.

Here are a few ways to enjoy that diversity:

1.  Just one Bite

I know many parents who encourage their toddlers to try one bite of each new food. If they like it, they can have more. If not, they can spit it out. The point is to try it without letting a preconceived judgment get in the way of discovery. This is a great philosophy to adopt in life. Try things.

• Are you curious about a new hobby? Try it. Don’t overthink it. See if you like it.

• Are you curious about a belief? Ask someone or read about it.

• Try a new restaurant. Try on an outfit you wouldn’t normally wear and see how you feel.

• Take a different route to work or on your walk and see how you like it. Read an article that offers a perspective different than your own with only the desire to understand.

Take a bite of life. Savor more of what you discover you like and leave the rest behind.

2. Be Present with Your Preferences

Do you know you don’t like something because you didn’t when you were 12, or a year ago?  Or you were told it was wrong to like it or try it when you wanted to? In some ideologies, dancing is wrong. In others, it is a celebration.  When we’re younger, we form many of our preferences because we want to be like our peers. Now (hopefully!) we own our own minds.

When I watched my first Wim Hof video, I vehemently decided I was NEVER getting into a cold shower. That was crazy. I hated the cold.  I had some very strong preconceived notions about it. But then I got curious. Would I really die if I did it?

I decided to honor the present curiosity instead of the past preference.  I drove up north and stuck my whole arm in a frozen creek. I didn’t get frostbite. I heated up. Something shifted. I wanted to try this new experience. Now I sit in a 37F tub twice a week for three minutes, meditating, and I love it. Had I stuck to my story and negated my own curiosity, I would have robbed myself of a practice that I now love.

We have to be present with ourselves to enjoy life fully. We’re evolving being.

Forget what you knew you did or didn’t like yesterday. What calls to you today? What sounds interesting or appealing? You may surprise yourself.

3. Live and Let Live

The angels are quite strong on this point. Making others wrong is a waste of our time and life energy, except when it can be an educational experience. We can spend that time finding and enjoying what is right for us. We can live our values, embrace what is good for us, demonstrate what works in our own lives, and share love in ways that feel natural to us.

Staying in your own lane feels good. Worrying about what everyone else is doing feels distracting. You can be aware without being entangled, and that feels good.

Diversity is one of the most beautiful aspects of our life on earth. We don’t come for the sameness, except for our shared origins in love. We come to explore, sift, sort, choose, and create.

As one of the astronauts on the recent Artemis II flight, Victor Glover, said in an interview, the miracle of their space flight was not created despite differences but because of them. People and companies from all over the world came together to create a technological miracle that uplifted much of humanity at a time when that was desperately needed,

So this week, explore something new and see how you like it. Is it something you want to incorporate into your list of joys on earth, or does it point you in another direction?  And how does it help you clarify how you want to experience, and share, love.