Offering Help…

Years ago, when I was married, my husband got sick. It wasn’t serious—just a nasty bug—but as an empath and a deeply loving person, I hated to see him suffer. So, I set about giving him every bit of my wonderful advice on how to heal. After a few hours of this, he looked at me and said, very honestly, “I think I got sick because I just need rest.” He was right! All my fixing would have sent him back to work sooner and robbed him of his rest.

Likewise, I used to have people come to me with a laundry list of complaints about life. They weren’t seeking solutions; they just wanted to air their grievances and prove to me that the happy life I wrote about was impossible for them. I care so much about everyone’s peace and happiness that I’d offer a long list of possible fixes in return. This was often, actually almost always, unwelcome! They’d argue for their limitations and misery with even more passion.

These individuals weren’t coming for solutions. They wanted understanding, compassion, and acknowledgment of their pain. I didn’t have t I discovered I could genuinely offer that. I could acknowledge their pain without agreeing that they were powerless.o argue for their light. I could quietly bear witness to it, whisper something sweet, often telepathically, to their soul, and I could share a little love. Or, I could choose not to engage and simply pray for them. It varied from case to case.

That might sound odd coming from someone who shares angel advice for a living. The people who come to me for such advice want it. I’ve learned to simply love and be compassionate with those who don’t—and to grant myself the grace to engage or not, depending on what feels right in the moment.

As the saying goes, it’s far better to be loving than to insist on being right.

Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is let another find their own way and learn from their own choices. We can give ourselves permission not to suffer with them, but to remain compassionate on “higher ground.” Not always easy, but far more effective. As the angels say, “We’d rather see one person happy than two miserable!”

So, in a world where countless things are thrust into our awareness, it’s important to refocus often on our own lives—to love where we can, to live as best we can, and to be an example of peace and kindness. Rather than falling into righteous indignation or anger, we can pray for all to be uplifted.

My inbox filled up this week. People who live closer to areas in the news were sad about historic buildings being torn down and upset about servicemen without pay going to food banks to feed their families. Many were horrified at a made-up video of someone dumping excrement on peaceful protestors, while others were amused. I hear all sides of every story. I hear the fears, frustrations, pain, and righteousness. Beneath it all, I also hear—through the angels’ perspective—the love seeking to rise from within every single heart. We all want the same things. We just have different ideas of how they should come about. And one could easily spiral downward, watching things we disagree with but cannot change from the outside.

When the cry becomes, “What has the world become? What is wrong with those people?” the angels answer with kindness: “They’re learning. They’re growing. They are not doing it as you would. Acknowledge your own heart. You care. You are a compassionate soul. You are one who can offer peace to those around you. You are one whose light and love can make a difference. Focus there. Focus on your own beautiful heart. Tend to your own garden and grow your own grace.”

It is not in fixing or educating others that we find peace. There will always be people doing things we disagree with. It is in tending our own garden, as the angels say, that we create happiness and joy, while elevating those who truly want what we have to offer.

Here are a few ways to “tend your own garden” and serve with love:

1. Fill it, then spill it.

As the saying goes, put your own oxygen mask on first.

Tend to your emotional well-being before worrying about what anyone else should be doing. Share when you feel filled with love. Give money only when inspired, and it deepens your sense of abundance. Offer advice only when you can truly do so without needing agreement.

When we “give to get”—approval, peace, or relief from worry—people sense that neediness beneath the generosity and often resist. But when we give from a full cup of love and abundance, people feel the true generosity of spirit.

2. Offer—don’t push.

When you’re eager to give advice, pause. Ask yourself, “How can I offer this as a gift of love rather than a demand?”

The angels often suggest simply asking, “Would you like some advice?” or “Would you like some ideas I have?” That gentle question tells them your intention is to help, not to make them wrong. It honors their soul. If they say “no,” bless them. If they say “yes,” share freely—and then let go of the outcome.

3. Know when the monkeys aren’t yours.

There’s a Polish saying: “Not my circus, not my monkeys.” Some things are not yours to fix. You don’t know the people involved, you don’t have the resources, and you haven’t been guided to step in.

Instead of sitting and stewing, refocus on your own life, your own sphere of influence, and the places where your love can truly help.

In 3D, we may feel powerless to change or elevate those lost in anger or victimhood. But in 5D, we are powerful. We have a powerful love. We have powerful prayers.  Our love, our prayers, and every single, simple act of kindness ripple outward in ways we can’t even imagine. Someday, after this life, you’ll see how profoundly your love has touched this world.

And by “tending to our own garden,” your love will nourish the souls who are ready to receive it.