Make Life’s Little “Splinters” Little

Years ago, I met a large family of splinters that literally rubbed me the wrong way! An ex-boyfriend had left a few things behind that no longer worked. Among them was a large grill that I decided to place out on the curb for anyone who could use it for parts. As I wheeled and pushed the heavy item out of the backyard, I accidentally brushed against my very old wooden gate. It literally rubbed the wrong way and implanted an army of tiny wooden splinters in my arms and back that I’m sure, looking back, represented all the little jabs that I’d let in “under my skin.”

I had no idea how I was going to get them all out until some dear friends came over for dinner and, after dessert, spent an hour working on me in much the same fashion as the birds who pick bugs off the hippos’ backs!  It was not fun, but these meticulous angels got every last one out, slathered me with salve, and then we went on to enjoy the evening. As unpleasant as the experience felt at the time, it led to love, laughter, and good conversations.

Other “splinters” in life have not been as enjoyable! There was a time I twisted up and had to spend nine days walking the house without eating or sleeping because anything else was too painful. My way of looking beyond that splinter was to watch reruns of old comedies until I could focus on anything other than the pain. Sure enough, once relaxed, my body took over and healed me.

Sometimes, the splinters have been the unkindnesses of life that play in our minds as if a rogue app has gone into “spinning ball syndrome” on our phones!  I can delete apps but not thoughts; however, I can focus my thoughts on something funny, better, or interesting, and that always does the trick.

It is hard to think of the things that bother us in the moment as “small,” but the more I work with angels, the more I see their broad, eternal perspective. I have a bad past life joke that I’ve been  “roasted, toasted, sliced, and diced, and here I sit, and today is nice!”  I’ve had some horrific past lives (couldn’t keep quiet at times when it would have been smarter!), and yet here I sit at a comfy computer, at a comfy desk, after eating a delicious salad for lunch with some leftover cake and fresh berries.  I guarantee some of the past lives didn’t feel “small” or like splinters, and yet here we are, all that has passed, and even though I passed too back then, I’m back at it again… with a little more diplomacy!

So, no matter what you go through, the phrase, “This too shall pass,” applies, and we can move through difficult things more quickly by broadening our focus, looking for what is good, and reminding ourselves that nothing painful will ever last. Even those who experience end-of-life pain are soon released into absolute bliss once again upon their transition.

As for me, I’d rather let the splinters work themselves out while I’m alive this time around!

Here are a few pointers to help you “work out the splinters” when something seems big in your life:

1.  Put things in perspective

These days, many are telling me about how horrible the world is, but I like to remind them that for most of us, our houses have not just burnt down, and our neighborhood has not been washed down a river. There are so many for whom that is the case, yet even those who survive such unthinkable disasters manage to put things in perspective. They’re alive.

I have seen and known incredible souls who, through their choice of focus, have worked beyond disasters that most of us will never know. In every case, these amazing souls have learned to put their tragedies in the context of a larger perspective. And without fail, they have found the silver lining.

If they can do it, we can, too. When something bothers you try to put it in a larger perspective. Don’t give it as much “air time” in your mind, or imagine “minimizing” the screen as if you were watching it on your computer.

The more we put things in an eternal context, the more manageable they seem.

2. Remind yourself, “This too shall pass.”

No matter what we go through, it is temporary.  Even fatal diseases are temporary. Debt is temporary. Illness is temporary in the scheme of our eternal soul. Bad words that take root in our minds are temporary. Eventually our soul will guide us to think of kinder things.  Nothing bad will last forever, and although something might feel huge and horrible now, if you remind yourself of a few things, it will help the problem pass more quickly:

• The creator or worlds knows how to solve this.
• The body knows how to heal.
• Spring follows barren winters, even for the soul.

Look at nature and watch the cycles of life, knowing you, too, have cycles and nothing bad will remain forever. In fact the less we give it airtime, the quicker it will go.

3. Burn it off

Sometimes, you just can’t let go of a painful focus. Someone says something to you. You feel terrified and can’t shake it. Something upsets you, and you can’t quite let go.  In this case, I do what I call “Burning it off.” I give myself a free pass to rant, rave, journal, unload on the angels, etc., all in private, of course. I write, then burn, shred, or bury letters I would never send. I vacuum vehemently or weed the yard.

I’ve known people who bought cracked plates at thrift stores, smashed them, and then donated the shards to folks who make mosaics. I’ve seen people get their upset kids a punching bag.  Some people run, exercise, hike, or even watch sports and feel great yelling at the TV!

Artists have long used their medium to work out unpleasant feelings and writers can create dark poetry. I once invited the spirit of Edgar Allen Poe to help me write a poem when I was feeling particularly miserable in my younger days and it was a brilliant piece of dark turning to light.

Whatever feels stuck in your mind is energy that is all knotted up. It just needs to move and dissipate.  You can find a constructive, creative, or at least harmless way to burn it off, and that is another effective way to remove the “splinter.”

There are so many times when something seems so huge, and then you look back, and it seems so far away. If you’re in the middle of something difficult I like the angel’s idea of seeing it as a splinter, something difficult but not big in the grand scheme of life. It does remove the drama, help us recalibrate more quickly, and eventually get you beyond it with greater grace!

That said, may your week be “splinter” free!