Learn to Discern vs. Judge

A very dear long-time client of mine transitioned today. I was calling her and leaving a final message when her mom wrote to tell me she had passed. She graduated, and the last time I talked to her, she knew it. I shut my eyes and felt her glorious release into love. The joy, the freedom, and the unconditional love were so powerful as she shared her experience and asked me to share messages with her family. I burst into tears, not of grief, but with a deep longing for all to know this love.

After tuning into so many transitions for so many people who have lost loved ones, I know that what awaits as the end of this journey is a bliss beyond description. That knowing carries me and gives me strength as we witness bombs going off, innocent people dying, and violence in so many cracks and crevices in human spirits. I hold tight to what I know lies beneath it all. The innocent who die are in bliss. The lost ones who die are now aware and often grieving their choice to stray so far from love. False power is seen as the lie that it is, and true power is understood in the hearts of those who stood fast in love. All is made clear.

It isn’t easy to refrain from judging some days, but it does help us stay disentangled from the dis-ease of those we might judge. It helps us “stay in our own loving lane” where we can discern what is good for our souls and what is not.  We may wobble, but with discernment, we can restore our alignment with our Soul quickly and kindly.

A few weeks ago, my car began to wobble. Just to rule out the obvious, I got the tires rotated. But Zippy continued to bounce and sway more than usual, so as I mentioned a few newsletters back, into the “spa” she went, where, among other things, my 28-year-old girl on wheels received new struts, new CV boots, and a few other very vital things for a car.

As I drove away, happy to have the repairs behind me, I noticed she had a new type of wobble.

In their zeal to get my car back to a state of perfection, the service people had rotated the tires… that had just been rotated… so now they were un-rotated! My local tire shop was kind enough to re-rotate them a few days later, thus saving me a longer drive.

I had to laugh. How often have I corrected a wobble, only to return to the original pattern and have to recalibrate myself again? Funny that my car’s wobbling started about the same time the news heated up again on Earth. I do not believe in coincidences. Clearly, I had to mind my own business and tend to my own alignment.

And that is precisely why so many sensitive souls are so tired these days. It is easy to maintain a loving mindset in a loving atmosphere. It takes a bit more work in an atmosphere where hatred and missives are flying like the energetic missiles they are.

In many areas, the weather is reflecting the chaos. The news is reflecting the chaos. But Spirit sits beneath the surface of such waves—calm, cohesive, and constant—waiting for us to tap in and feel the release of its peace.

Take a breath. Look for something beautiful or something you can appreciate now. For me, it is the mug that holds my evening coffee right now. Temporarily, I let go of thought and sit in appreciation for life. This feels good.

Finding peace in the chaos is possible. We can learn to discern.

What belongs in our focus?
What deserves our attention?
What intentions do we have regardless of the intentions of others?

We can live in our center—not judging the judgmental, hating the haters, or allowing ourselves to be sickened by the sick—but rather focusing intentionally on the lovers, the discerners, and the healthy souls we can find along the path. There are many. Some are human. Some have fur or feathers. Some live in the plants and natural phenomena. Everywhere we look, there is love at the surface waiting to be seen.

As we learn to discern, we learn that things must vibrationally earn our attention. We learn not to give our attention indiscriminately.

I know there’s a lot in this world that is hard to see. I’m pretty sure that’s why I’m rehabbing my vision. Far too often, I feel sad about the anger I witness in the world, but then I correct the wobble, recalibrate to love, and return to my Soul’s center.

Enlightenment is not a static state. The light is something we reach for and calibrate to, time and again. It gets easier, quicker, and requires less energy to correct a wobble after much practice, but it certainly isn’t a failure when it happens.

So grant yourselves grace these days. Be kind to yourselves. If you have a wobble and the world gets you down, remember there is plenty to lift you as well.  If you wobble into judgment, take a breath, say a prayer, and discern.

As the angels said so beautifully today, we came to sample life, experience, choose, and create again. I love that.  Discernment is a vital component of creation, as we choose and choose again.

Here are a few tips to help you learn to discern, rather than judge:

1.  1. Ask yourself, “What would I prefer?”

We see plenty that we don’t want. We recognize such things or behaviors instantly with a sense of distaste. They rub us the wrong way, literally and figuratively.

In the moment you recognize that something doesn’t resonate, in the next breath, ask yourself, What would I prefer?

When you see an outfit you don’t like, what would you prefer?

When you see someone voice an opinion you don’t like, what would you prefer?

When you see something on the news you don’t like, what would you prefer?

When someone acts unkindly, what would you prefer?

Make sure the answer is not about changing another person, but rather about the vibration you prefer. I see someone acting unkindly, and immediately, I focus on the fact that I prefer kind behavior. I see bombs dropping, and I focus on the peace I prefer.

In every case, when you see something you don’t care for, you can switch your focus to something you prefer that is better, more resonant, more in alignment with your soul.

This is discernment in action.

2. Use a Gardening Metaphor

When you find yourself stuck in judgment (“they have no right to be!”), use a gardening metaphor to help steer yourself back to discernment:

The fertilizer is necessary for the growth of the rose, but you’d much rather smell the rose.

Acknowledge the fertilizer, but focus on the future growth of the rose, as any gardener would do.

You can recognize the value in all things—fertilizer or roses, because the darkness will always provide the fertilizer for the light to grow stronger.

3. Imagine Correcting a Wobble

When you feel judgmental, imagine yourself tilted off-center, slightly misaligned with your loving nature. Imagine you are righting yourself and plugging back into a stream of love. Breathe as if you can breathe deep down the center of your body and feel love flowing into you.

3. Pray

When something wobbles me, instead of asking, “What are they thinking?” I turn away and start to pray—for everyone. It keeps me in my center, steadies me in love, and helps me focus on the areas where I can contribute love

Most of us were taught to judge by people who didn’t think of it as judgment. Well-meaning people for centuries have felt righteously right,never realizing their right was both a discernment (knowing what was right for them) and a judgment (declaring others wrong). And while others might be legally, morally, or ethically wrong in the sense of being unloving, even those engaged in bad behaviors are in an education for their soul, as we all are.

The victim and victimizer are on opposite sides of the same classroom—both learning to value love more; one hoping to love themselves more, one hoping to learn to love others more. In my former “martyr” days, I attracted sociopaths. We were a perfect vibrational lock and key. I gave indiscriminately. They took indiscriminately. I wanted to learn self-love. They wanted to learn to be more compassionate toward others.

Right? Wrong? Good? Bad? Many would say I was the good one, and they were the bad, but that judgment forgets that we were perfectly matched in our own education. And as I learned to love myself and discern what was right for me, I no longer needed the mirror of what was not.

Dare to discern.

Dare to say, “This works for me,” or “This doesn’t.”

Dare to choose what you will watch, believe, and take into your mind, body, and soul.

Discernment isn’t a judgment of anyone else’s choices but rather a clear conviction about what works for you and what lifts you back into the light that you are.