Find a reason to love… it isn’t cheating!

Today’s angel message was packed with deep truths that took me years to learn. The hardest point for me wasn’t so much about loving difficult people. I can love the soul within someone even if I totally dislike their personality or behavior. Maybe that comes from decades of working with angels! What I found difficult in the past was accepting that it was OK to change my 3D reality vs. being a “saint” and trying to tough it out and love a difficult or painful situation. I would have said I wasn’t a quitter. Little did I know that I quit loving myself and listening to my heart far too often back then.

In my thirties, I had recently been dumped by a man I should have known not to date. He smoked pot while I was Polly pure breath. He drank, and I’ve never been drunk. We were a mismatch on so many levels, and I knew it, but I was lonely and needy, and in many ways, he was a lot of fun. We enjoyed long hikes, philosophical discussions, and good meals. The rest was a mess!

Needless to say, that didn’t last. His addictions went far beyond substance. The minute I left town, he had someone else with him. I knew it and didn’t want to know it. Eventually, after I took a long vacation to clear my head, he broke up with me, telling me quite honestly that he’d ruin my life. He was right. He was in a new relationship with someone five years younger the next day. It was a blessing in disguise.

However, I didn’t know then what I do now. His friend, who was not addicted but who matched my needy, lonely vibe, hounded me, telling me we were “meant to be.” My first impression was to hide every time I went hiking because I didn’t want to see him. His kind gestures finally made me doubt myself. He was sweet. Maybe I should give him a chance. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe this was why I dated the not-so-great guy… All the while, my feelings were screaming, “Run!”

I caved in and dated him for three years. It was an emotional disaster at the time. The worse he behaved, the harder I tried to prove my love. In reality, I wasn’t loving him as he was. I loved the potential in him. I was trying to demonstrate that I was worthy of his love. My actions were loving, but my vibration was needy. I had a perfect match— until I grew. I got to the point where I knew that he was hurting, and it had nothing to do with me. In the midst of an amazing tirade, when he was spouting daggers at me, I started to laugh, slowly at first, then hysterically, with deep, rolling belly laughs. He couldn’t stay angry. He started to laugh without knowing why. “What are you laughing at?” he demanded.

Out of my now self-loving mouth came, “You’re not angry at me! But you’re so mad! You look two!” I laughed some more. He stopped in his tracks, looked at me, and said, “You’re right! I’m not angry at you! I’m angry at my mother!” More laughter. The moment was transformative! We did end up separating not long after. He decided being around me was “too much work” since I no longer dove into the dumps when he was upset. But I learned. I learned that in choosing to align with my loving soul, I could feel good no matter what others did. I learned not to take others’ feelings personally.

I learned everything I would have learned in a moment had I honored my feelings three years prior! I hadn’t realized that at the time. I asked my angels if I’d learned my lessons. “The hard way, yes,” they answered. They had tried to get through to me before I talked myself into the relationship. They had tried to help me pay attention to my feelings. I didn’t listen. My need was a stronger force than my self-love back then, so I learned the hard way. Now I listen to my feelings!

That was when I started to understand that there is little merit in trying to love something you don’t like. We can choose instead, to love what is easier to like in life. We can absolutely love the light within the difficult people. However, as the angels often say, “You can love the kindergarteners, but you don’t have to play with them!”

I had a choice back then that I didn’t see. I could have changed my circumstances or changed myself. Both paths would have led me to a kinder reality. It isn’t a cop-out to change gears when things aren’t working and you no longer want to work so hard. It isn’t bad to return a library book after reading only one chapter or to walk out of a movie theater if the film isn’t as good as you thought. It doesn’t make sense to stay with a job you felt would be glorious if you’ve given it a fair chance, and it is not. It isn’t bad to leave a relationship (with love and kindness, of course) and move along if being in it means you have to pretend to love what you don’t like.

The angels’ advice is simple. Put yourself in situations where you can love easily when you can, and if not, find something to love. They often say to people who agonize over leaving a difficult relationship that it is better to love the soul at a distance than to be constantly irritated up close! Ideally, we could look for the good in everyone, but some folks don’t make that easy! It is better to attune to love where you can than to struggle in an unloving vibration.

I once was so upset over something someone said about me that the only obvious thing to love at that particular moment was what was right in front of me—my newly remodeled bathroom! Focusing on that shifted my vibe, which ultimately made it easier for me to see the light within this unpleasant individual.

The only thing that matters is that you find the vibration of love. You don’t have to be a saint, a superhero, or a Christed being all the time. You just have to reach for the most loving path or thought you can find. In the end, as the angels say, love is love no matter how you find its frequency

Here are a few pointers to help you choose love either internally or externally:

1.  When you can, choose the 3D situations that feel better

Years ago, I read a book that transformed my thinking—”Daring to Be Yourself,” by Alexandra Stoddard. She was a decorator and is still a modern philosopher. In the book, she maintains that true happiness comes from being true to who we are rather than conforming to societal expectations. As a decorator, she helped channel her client’s authentic selves into their decor. She urges readers to care about whether or not they like the little things in their lives and, if not, make changes.

The book inspired me. I covered all my storage boxes with pretty fabric, bought beautiful file folders, used up my generic soap, and got some that smelled like honey. I started questioning all my choices. Did I really like what I was doing, who I was with, and what I was eating? I made many changes that year, and it was a revelation that choosing to love and accept myself, even in terms of my external life, could make such a difference. It helped me accept myself more internally as well and made me more appreciative of the diversity of tastes and opinions on earth.

So, while we can train ourselves to tune into the vibration of love, no matter what, sometimes it is just easier and more fun to choose something in 3D that inspires joy to help us find that vibration. There are no brownie points in heaven for finding the hardest path. Spirit guides us on the easiest one!

Create more reasons to love your 3D life, no matter how small. For some, a sniff of good soap every morning in the shower can inspire a boost in self-worth!

2. Stop resisting your own heart

Pay attention to what you truly feel in your heart at a given moment and trust it. Take last weekend. I really “should” have started doing my taxes. I planned to. But I slept in, called home, juiced lemons, started creating a new coloring book, learned how to make word search puzzles, brainstormed creative ideas, watched an online course, and had a glorious time doing everything I wanted to do except to start the tax prep! I even got the newsletter done early. It was so much fun. I have tons of energy, and I trust the tax prep will be easier when I’m not resisting it. Somehow, every year, I have a day when I wake up inspired to do it 🙂

When you stop resisting your heart, you automatically rise into a more loving vibration.

3. When you can’t be in a situation you love, find something to love about the situation you’re in

Here’s where tuning practice pays off. When you’re in a situation you don’t like, find something to appreciate, no matter how small. Breathe deeply and ask for help. Pray. Look for any reason, internal or external, to feel better. Give yourself a hug. Conjure up a good memory. Shut your eyes and go to the beach in your mind.

When the outside world is not cooperating, dive inward and choose a better-feeling thought.

You’ve heard me say it many times—the angels once told me, “Ann, it doesn’t matter if you love a man, a chair, or a squirrel! Love is love! Find the vibration of love.”

It took me years to understand that the feeling I tune into is more important than what I use to find that feeling.

So whether you do something, eat something, buy something, focus on something or someone, or think something good, if it tunes you into the feeling of love, you become a magnet for love, a transmitter of love, and an emissary of love in this world.

That’s what I call win-win 🙂

As I finish writing this the smell of freshly baked garden sweet potatoes is filling my senses with bliss! Yet one more reason to love!