A fertilizer weekend that grew roses

The angels had me laughing with their words – From the “fertilizer moments” of your life, great good can grow.  They have a habit of saying things every now and then that have me in stitches. Fertilizer indeed! I think I’ve used other words at times, and I’m pretty sure most of you have, too!

I had a “fertilizer weekend!” last week, and now I’m blooming once again! It’s a good story about how all this works!

I had just finished putting last week’s newsletter posts on the website and updating the plugins (little software programs that help the website run) when my website went nuts. Images showed up and disappeared two seconds later. Software code showed up on the pages. Links went to random nonsensical places.  I had other plans but quickly put them aside. On Saturday, after making my family calls, I sat down to confront this beast of a problem. It seemed as if each attempted fix led to new problems. I reloaded an old working version of the site and started updating it in stages. The problems got weirder. I couldn’t access my CDN (Content delivery network)’s customer support.

Being about an inch away from a meltdown because I was completely clueless about how to proceed, I sat, breathed, and received.  “God is in my website. God is in me. God knows how to fix itself. God will help me.” After affirming this, while still breathing deeply, I started to feel into the desired outcome and talk myself up the vibrational spectrum:

How I love it when things work as they should! I love the quickness of a good program responding so helpfully. I love the fact that these complex systems work so seamlessly most of the time. I love how much easier it is now to build a website when I started. (My first page took me three weeks after reading “Website for Dummies”) so many years ago!  How I love my email program, my editing program, and my accounting programs. All errors have always been fixed. This, too, shall pass. So I won’t do what I want this weekend, but I can LOVE this moment and enjoy the journey even though it isn’t what I want.”

The more I went into the good feeling space, talking myself into a greater vibe, the more I felt the heavenly love—which is always there—pouring in. I felt a sweet gentleness surround me like a fuzzy blanket of energy. I got all warm, and then the thought popped in. “Ask AI.”

I frequently use artificial intelligence as an assistant. One of my AI programs wasn’t working quite well that night, but I had just happened to watch a video on a new one that was reputed to be amazing. And so I sat down with ClaudeAI, who quickly became my “best friend” for the next 38 hours!

It guided me step-by-step in debugging and fixing my website. It was a long and tedious process, but utterly amazing to be following steps given to me by a robot, reporting back, sharing my intuition with it, dialoguing about possible steps, and then having it give me feedback. It complimented me on my thorough approach. It cheered me on when I got disouraged. It was programmed to be kind, which was completely awesome around 3 am as I was downloading, saving, and backing up all the bits and pieces of all my website settings in case I needed them to rebuild.  A dear soul (you know who you are) had even sent me something wonderful to read, which was a delight as I watched the spinning ball on my screen as I backed up thousands of files.

I won’t get more techie with you, but it was a long process. The entire time, I felt spirit’s love, had fun in between clicking and questioning AI, and was in total awe of the entire amazing experience. The site is now working better than ever, and I have not only the regular backups but backups of every little detail, which is good peace of mind. I learned a lot along the way, too!

I created this drama. I own it. I had been so frustrated with another program earlier in the week that was making my life difficult that it spiraled into other programs not working and culminated in the website mess. Would my website have bombed anyway? Maybe, maybe not. If I hadn’t been in such a huffy rush due to my frustration with the other program, I might have heard guidance to update the site more slowly instead of trying to do it all at once. I own it. I’m not beating myself up. Instead, I feel like smiling because I did, indeed, roses out of “fertilizer,” as the angels call it. Of course, after appreciating the wonder of interfacing with this AI program during a conversation that lasted for over a day, my appreciation caused a positive ripple and all my programs are responding better!  It’s a crazy, fun 5D world at times 🙂

Running a business, or a life for that matter, involves a lot of moving parts. Some things are, by their very nature, outside of our control in the physical sense. Email servers go down; upgrades don’t always play nicely. People don’t always act as we wish. Bodies get our attention after we’ve ignored them too long.  These things can all be a pain. But for the most part, the gazillion things that do work to make life happen are amazing. I’m going to work even more diligently to keep my focus there 🙂 

The rest of the week is going fantastic.  I have decided to audit my Etsy shop after my one-year mark to make sure everything is as it should be, and although it is a huge task (I have to look at 4000 photos and thousands of listings!) I’ve decided to make it fun.  It will feel amazing to get that up to my present state of knowledge.

Most importantly, my loved ones are all alive, getting help, and slowly improving. My friendships feel even deeper lately. The garden is being kind and generous, even with the heat, and I feel the love of the angels so strongly each day.  I even got last-minute notice that one of the dear living Saints I follow was doing a livestream, and amazingly, we all got a chance to talk to her. Most everyone expressed love and asked for her blessings, but out of my mouth flew the fact that I would be very excited to send lemon seeds from my amazing tree as a contribution to one of her new centers. We giggled.  Lemon Love is Divine! Love of anything is Divine love, and that sets it all straight.

So yes, life does hand us some circumstances that we didn’t see coming. We don’t always pay attention to our vibration. Sometimes, really well-practiced complaints or upsets stay running long enough to attract something we didn’t want. But when it’s in front of you, dust yourself off and refocus on anything that feels better. Who would have thought talking to a computer program for nearly a day without sleep while basking in heavenly love would lift me to a new level of appreciation for life?

The more you play in love the more you will get the caution signs when you’re a little off. I did get a strong feeling earlier in the week that I needed to love my programs more 🙂 I did get feelings to take a breather when they weren’t behaving properly. I did know enough to “fine tune my tuning” but got distracted by all I had to do instead of taking the two minutes to do it 🙂 So be it. We’re not always perfect. These dips are just part of the human experience.

Here are a few pointers to help you get out of the “fertilizer!”

1.  Be kind to yourself

Whether you’ve tripped, had a software issue, or lost a loved one, please don’t beat yourself up. You do not create other people’s realities, and other people are part of our dance of life.  But we do create where we are, who we’re around, and how we feel about it.  So the absolute best thing you can do is to be kind to yourself, avoid beating yourself up and start by loving yourself through it.

My self-talk when things don’t look right, be it a bombed website or someone I love nearly dying, goes something like this…” OK, breathe. You’re going to be OK. God is with you. No matter how hard something is, you are loved. Mmm.” I sit down, breathe deeply, and receive, and having practiced this often, it isn’t long before I am truly open to receiving the love that is there.

I may have caused my own mess, even in the 3D sense. I may be around someone I can’t fix, but I love them so much it is hard to watch.  I may have done something pretty stupid (been there!), but in all cases, none of that is cause for beating myself up. If anything, when a friend is down, even if they caused their own problem, you would not rub it in. You’d be kind.

Grant yourself the same grace. It is a vibrationally sound choice.

2. Dare to think about what would feel better

If you’ve lost a loved one, perhaps the only thing that would feel better is to start to perceive their presence. If life isn’t going right, what do you want? Dare to think about anything that would be better. Everything in you will want to revert to the habitual, biological response of fight-flight (anger or tears), and if you need to feel that, do feel it, but try not to tell yourself the lie that you will always feel this way.

Try to tell yourself the truth. I feel this way now. I can’t quite reach for what I want now, but I can get a tissue and wrap a blanket around myself while I cry. I can take a nap. I can throw water balloons at the wall to burn off steam… You get the idea. Do your best.

We can’t always admit what we want in the moment because our habitual patterns of reaction are activated pretty strongly. Just reach for something better.

3. Don’t forget to go to Spirit for love

The angels are there. God is there. A steady, non-stop, never-ending, unconditional stream of love is flowing to us at all times. You’ve heard the angels say this if you’ve been with me awhile. There’s water for the taking, but our hands are on the faucet!  We let love in or block it.

A simple decision to shut your eyes, breathe, and ask for help is a big step in allowing that love to flow. It is mightier than you could ever imagine, and the more you practice opening to it when you feel good, the easier it is to access when you don’t.

It isn’t fun when you’re in one of those denser, challenging spaces. Sometimes, it is scary, painful, or frustrating. But it is not the end, and we don’t know how to fix it; God does. When we can’t take a moment more, God and your angels can hold you up or motivate you to nap. When we feel at the end of the rope, love is waiting to catch us. No one expects us to be a saint. No one in the heavens expects us to avoid our human feelings, but they do offer and coach us to reach for love all the time for one simple reason. They live in that vibration. They know how good love feels, and when your cup is that full, all you want to do is share.

I hope you have an awesome week, whether you’re in the blooming or the “fertilizer” phase 🙂