Delicious differences

One of the things I love most about my work is seeing the multitude of ways that people love life and one another. Everything from the woman who, years ago, proudly showed me her motorcycle scars from one of her many amazing trips, to the salty old cowboy who told me about the time he got shot in a bar brawl, to the leaders of companies who agonize over making sure their employees are taken care of, to the parents who love their kids so much they’d easily leave their comfort zones to support their kids’ dreams, and on it goes.

I’ve met people who love their animals so much the light could fuel a nation, and people who love nature so much they would do anything to help Mother Earth. And I’ve met so, so, so many people working diligently and quietly to learn what it feels like to love themselves.

Whether we admit it or not, we’re all about the love. We’re here for it, and nothing less. Even the craziest of characters throughout history were trying to love themselves or get the love they didn’t receive as children. God knows, people can be creative about it, but underneath it all is the desire to feel loved and, when you do, to share it.

I thank God we’re not all the same. Can you imagine seeing everyone dressed the same, cooking the same, thinking the same, etc.? We’d be robots, not humans! And even the robots are getting their own “personas” for better or worse.

When in connection with our soul, we humans love our differences. I once read that one thing that makes a supermodel a supermodel is not sameness, but rather uniqueness—people of pure and different cultures, people with unique looks, even unique scars. The ones that stand out do so because of their differences.

And we all have our differences. When I was younger, I used to joke that I was just “plain vanilla” Ann.

In high school, I had a summer job in one of the main FEMA offices in Washington, D.C. I worked with a group of delightful African American ladies, and I felt pale by comparison—not only in skin tone but in my ability to laugh heartily, speak with candor, and tell a good story. They helped bring me out of my little teenage shell and teased me without mercy about my latte appearance (no matter how tan I got!) until I finally (pun intended!) lightened up!

We had a rollicking good time, and it was not because of our sameness. Our different backgrounds, cultures, foods, and social behaviors were what made the friendships so much fun.

In college, I enjoyed a melting pot of students from all over the nation.Again, different cultures, social norms, and beliefs came together so beautifully. A best friend from the Deep South demonstrated the power of speaking her mind all the time, while one from New York was honest but diplomatic.

I met so many different people and loved hearing about how they were raised, what they did for fun, and, in general, how they thought. And what I discovered is what we all know: in our human essence, we are the same, but we have a billion ways of expressing it.

In my twenties, I worked on flight management systems for the Boeing 777 airplane. People from all over the world were necessarily involved to get the plane built and off the ground, let alone navigating it. Even at the first meeting to define the entertainment system, we had a very diverse group banging heads to figure out what was possible, how to make it avoid interfering with weight restrictions and safety measures, how much power it would take, and what would be offered price-wise.

There was no way one group could manage the intricacies involved in getting those flat-panel displays on a seat back that we now take somewhat for granted. It was the differences that did it.

We know that differences can make life infinitely richer, yet, for the past many years, we have found ourselves arguing over differences. Should everyone get the shot or not? It saved some and killed others. Who should you vote for? Who is going to “save” or “damn” us?

If, instead of focusing on the argument, we could trust that everyone has their own inner compass that guides them to the experience their soul needs now, then we wouldn’t have to fear that differences equal death—maybe not literally, but certainly there’s a fear that they lead to the death of a way of life.

So what’s the solution?

A healer I know would say it this way: “Potato theory. Be all eyes and no mouth!”

Or, as the angels say, listen, ask questions, and discover what there is to understand about each other.

I watch YouTube during spare minutes because I love hearing different ideas, perspectives, and ways of approaching life.

However you do it, discovering the interesting parts of being different can be richly rewarding and lead to a far more fulfilling life.

Here are a few ideas to help you explore the differences without fear…

1.  Remember Vibrational Law

We are not at the mercy of others the way we think we are. We get to tune into an energy and experience the results of it.Two people experience the exact same administration differently. Two people experience the same medicine differently. Two siblings experience the same parents differently.

There are vibrational matches and vibrational mismatches. The more you consciously attune your thoughts, and therefore your feelings, to how you want to feel, the more you will experience that reality, no matter what others are up to.

2. Ask Questions

Don’t assume you know what others are thinking or why. It is easy to project our own way of thinking onto others.

I used to wonder what planet some people were from. How could they think that?
It is a good question. I’ve learned to ask and approach with a sense of discovery.

Years ago, I ran across a news story about a woman who ran a hate site aimed at a famous cook. I couldn’t even fathom how someone could do that, so I wrote and told her I was a spiritual teacher and believed everyone had a right to their beliefs, but I was just trying to understand why she ran the site.

She said, honestly, she started it as a joke, but it took off, and she felt pressured by her “members” to keep it up.

I felt compassion for her. She had trapped herself in a thankless task, and of course, she could change at any time, but it would involve discomfort. Understanding gave me compassion instead of disdain.

When you listen to people, you’ll discover there are deeper motivations—to be loved—under nearly everything.

3. Branch Out and Explore Something Different

Read a biography about someone very different. Watch a movie about a different culture. Try a different recipe or go to a different restaurant.

Science has demonstrated that trying new things makes you more neuroplastic, meaning the brain doesn’t get stuck in its hard-wired thought patterns and remains more adaptable throughout life. Differences even keep you younger!

So while we all enjoy the company of those of like mind and heart, and there’s nothing wrong with it, we can also enjoy the differences and use them to expand our horizons rather than contracting from them.

I believe this is part of the “secret” to healthy aging. Kids are open to life and curious, and as a result, they don’t waste energy judging it. They explore and like something or not, plain and simple.

Life gets more fun when we can, too. You can still have your preferences, but don’t form them before you give a new idea, a new recipe, or a new thought a chance.

And moving forward, try asking more questions, seeking more understanding, and taking the time to see what is to be gained by “putting our heads together.”