What do you value?

t’s Monday night on the patio again, just after sunset. I began writing while the birds were singing their sunset song, and the crickets were joining in a group chorus. As the blue sky turned inky black and stars began to twinkle, all but the crickets fell silent. A gentle breeze is blowing. The temperature is delightful here in Phoenix, thanks to a rare and precious day of gentle, soaking rain this weekend. The hint of moisture in the air is something I value deeply tonight. In the midst of the desert, the aura of a beach feels close by. I feel the soothing buzz of life’s content as the trees pull their energy inward for the night. I treasure this quiet time on the patio.

To some, such inactivity would be pathetically boring. To others, it seems like heaven. We’re all cut from a different cloth, as the saying goes.

In my practice, I see far too many people worrying about whether or not they are doing something “right”—be it the right activity, the right way of handling a difficult person, the right foods to eat, the right treatment, the right spiritual practice, etc. The angels lovingly point out the rightness of a person’s current intuition and why they’re feeling guided a certain way. They often remind people that what they value in a given moment—what enlivens them, inspires them, calls to them—is their guidance at that time.

What you value today may not be what others think you “should” value. Look at the younger generations. They value freedom, aliveness, travel, and experience. A large number of them could care less about stuff, appearances, or settling down. That flies in the face of what many of us learned, and yet, if we’re honest, some of that is very appealing. And some of it is not.

We have to trust what arises from within if we are to be happy. And we have to trust that if others truly listen to their own inner compass, that will work for them, too. I’ve had many clients over the years who were very concerned about their kids’ seeming disregard for convention, only to later watch those brilliant young people figure out their lives and move forward into great abundance and joy.

Ultimately, we may ask, “Who is right? What is right?” And the only singular answer I can find is that the Divine within is “right” in all its billion forms of expression! Love is always right. Look at nature. The heart is right to be soft and pliable. The bones are right to be strong. The pine is right to hold onto its needles while the maple is right to release its leaves. Every element in nature lives in accordance with its own innate values, and it somehow finds its perfect place among all others.

As the angels like to say, you would never catch the heart saying to the bone, “You should be more flexible,” and you’d never catch the bone saying to the heart, “Become more rigid, please!”

We are all intended to live according to our own intrinsic values and to trust that when we do, we serve souls—not egos. We elevate our own spirit, experience love, and more naturally want to share it. I value many things you may agree with. I’m sure I also value things you may not! Right now, there’s a bug on my screen walking across the middle of the paragraph I’m typing. I’m not particularly fond of critters crawling on my work, but I can appreciate that they value the light and warmth, and I can let them have a little “spa time” on my screen for the moment.

I value popcorn and a glass of wine some nights, which I know might not appeal to many of you 🙂 I can’t explain it. It might be genetic. I discovered in recent years that my dad enjoys his little nightly Tupperware full of popcorn and a half-glass of wine, too. He’s fit, healthy, and active at 87, so it’s not hurting him. Is this ritual the secret to longevity? I doubt it. But I do believe happiness—living according to what you find enjoyable and valuable—is a contributing factor.

So, when you wonder if what you are doing is OK with God, ask yourself: is it OK with you?

There is nothing but unconditional love from the Creator. We only need to ask ourselves: does what I’m doing, saying, buying, eating, etc., align with what I personally value—or is it a “should,” something I do to please others or prove my worthiness?

Those in heaven will tell you that the smallest authentic moments in life were often the most love-filled, even if they seemed unimportant at the time. A simple act of savoring your ice cream cone might seem pleasant but mundane—yet you never see from Earth, the souls that witness your joy and feel uplifted as a result. A moment of helping a stranger seems like nothing until you see it from heaven and marvel at the ripple effect of your kindness.

Living your values in small ways might not seem impactful in this world, but it is—in ways we can’t fathom while on Earth. Someday, you’ll see the magnificence of your life and the great contribution that even the smallest authentic actions can create.

So when you watch the hooting and hollering, the name-calling and divisiveness over politics and ideologies, take heart. We change the world by changing our lives. By living our values and enjoying what we value, we become pebbles in the human pond, sending ripples of love outward to touch hearts and minds. You may think you only influence a few close individuals, but as you embrace a more love-filled life, you give them permission to do the same. Your light inspires theirs. Theirs inspires those around them. And the ripples of goodness know no end.

I’ve made offhand comments to people about what I value, and years later, they’ve told me how life-changing those comments were. Who knew?

All I know is that adding more of what I value to my life—whether it’s snacks, ideologies, or practices—feels like love and inspires me to share more!

Here are a few ways to identify and incorporate more of what you value into your life

1. Keep a running tab

You might value feeling strong after a yoga workout
You might value a good sip of wine at sunset.
You might value a good sip of wine at sunset.
You might value a heartfelt conversation with a friend or playtime with your pet.
You might value those magic moments when you truly connect with a stranger.
You might value clothing that fits well and feels good.
You might value a moment of peace, a beautiful sunset, or a phone call with someone you care about.
You might value an inspiring quote in a book, the thrill of creativity, or the clarity of an “aha” moment.
You might value peace, kindness, honesty, and inclusion. Open a file on your phone or computer, and every time you feel yourself appreciating something—grand or small—add it to your list of things you value.

The idea is to discover what really sparks you, uplifts you, and makes you feel alive. As your list grows, you’ll start to realize how much there truly is to love in life.

2. Challenge yourself to enjoy more of what you value

Each day—or each week—pick one thing you value and ask: how can I enjoy more of this in my life today? Don’t pick something too difficult or out of reach. Start small. Get creative. Ask a friend to brainstorm with you if needed.

If you value your morning coffee, take a moment to enjoy the aroma while selecting your favorite mug. Add your favorite extras. Hold the mug and offer a silent prayer of thanks to everyone who helped make that cup possible. Smell. Taste. Sip. Savor. Appreciate. You won’t just enjoy a cup of coffee—you’ll enjoy a cup of love.

If you value time with loved ones, create an opportunity. Plan an activity and send out invitations or make a phone call. Take a few minutes to be fully present with someone you usually rush past.

There are so many ways we can enjoy more of what we value in a given day, and it is often surprising how these littlethings can have a large and lasting positive impact.

3. Challenge yourself to share more of what you value

Take a look at what you value and figure out ways to share it. For example:

Do you value kind people? Be the kind one today.
Do you value honesty? Tell someone how much their honesty means to you—or be gently honest with yourself.
Do you value service? Offer help, even if only through prayer.
Do you value a delicious piece of chocolate? Share one with a friend!

Sharing what we value—be it a quality, a thing, or an experience—allows us to flow more love into the world. Big or small, share one thing that lights you up with someone who might enjoy it too.

It’s easy to get caught up in what we or others think we “should” value in life—productivity, self-sacrifice, always putting others first. And yes, those can be worthwhile at times. But more often than not, the simple pleasures and everyday joys add profound value to our lives. The small qualities we live and share create beautiful ripples of goodness that travel far beyond our reach.

I wish you a beautiful week filled with everything you truly value—and a week of sharing what you find valuable within yourself.