Your happiness is not selfish

I couldn’t find the champagne anywhere. I was sure I had purchased some prior, but after looking everywhere (or so I thought) decided to run to the grocery store the following morning before work to get a bottle. It is an essential ingredient in my squash soup.

At the store, I kept passing the same elderly woman. She was pushing a cart and using a cane, and it was apparent she had it down to a science. She moved slowly and deliberately to keep her balance, and I couldn’t sense a complaint in her. She was beautiful. As I got in my car to go home, I passed the same lady loading her car, again very slowly. Before I could think, I pulled in next to her and asked if she needed help. She kindly accepted. We shared a moment of sweet connection then I drove off feeling delighted to be part of the loving dance of the universe. Two minutes after I arrived at home, I found the original bottle of champagne!

Later that night, I was shopping at another store when the checkout lady and I started talking and exchanging receipts. I oven-roast my Brussels sprouts for Thanksgiving and add cranberries and pecans. She cooks hers on the stovetop, then adds craisins and honey mustard. We were both drooling as she checked out a spice mix I’d purchased for a friend. This led to a whole new conversation. She asked me if I had tried it. I had not. She raved about it. I commented that I’d have to get some next time. She got a glimmer in her eye, turned to another clerk who wasn’t busy, and before I knew it, the other clerk appeared with a second bottle of the spice.

“Merry Christmas!” my checkout lady said, “I’m buying this for you.” My mouth fell open. “I’d be happy to pay for it.” “Nope!” and she gave me what friends of mine and I jokingly call “The Polish Look,” which means, “There will be no arguing with my generosity!”  What a delightful surprise!  Far more valuable than the spice jar was the joy, love, and connection behind it. I’ll remember and pray for this dear soul for the rest of my life.

The orchestration of the universe is so amazing and elegant it never ceases to delight. When we live in a state of frequent appreciation and love, things flow in mutually uplifting, miraculous ways we couldn’t even begin to imagine. 

When we feel good we naturally want to share. The more we give ourselves permission to receive from the universe and to feel good, the bigger a conduit for blessings we become.

I almost got rid of my dishwasher last week after years of having the top rack come off the rails. I really didn’t want to. I love my old one. It has a history with me and memories, like the time my husky wolf of many years ago tried to wedge himself into it to lick the plates on the top shelf! Anyway, I digress. Right before committing to a new one, I practiced what I preach. I sat down and thought of all the good dinners and times with friends that this dishwasher had cleaned up. I appreciated its service over the years.  Suddenly, a phrase popped into my head. I went to YouTube, typed it in, and found a video showing how to fix the problem. I hadn’t known it was fixable. Within a few days, the parts arrived, and another video made it ridiculously easy for me to install them. I was inspired to ask an artificial intelligence how to recondition the insides and got a dissertation on how to make my dishwashe like new.  Had I focused on the problem without allowing myself to feel good for a few minutes, I’d have a big bill at the moment.

While these are fun little stories, the orchestration is amazing and helpful when you have a big need, or need big help. It is contrary to our conditioning to relax and look for reasons to be happy when we have a problem, but that is the very vibe in which we get and share the help.

I saw a story of a woman in North Carolina who had heard the hurricane was coming. She didn’t expect it to be too bad, but that night, with rain pounding, wind howling, and no electricity, the most positive thing she could do with her kids was pray. They prayed for their own protection and the protection of their renters. The woman was especially concerned about one family who lived on a property she rented that had a large tree. She and her boys prayed that God keep everyone safe.

When the storm finally passed, she drove down a ripped-up, debris-strewn road to reach the family that rented their property.  She couldn’t believe what she saw. The home was completely gone, leveled by a mudslide in seconds.  Miraculously, the woman who had been trapped in the debris was quickly rescued by a neighbor who had prior search and rescue experience. Even more miraculously, her husband, son, and dog, who had been on the couch in the family room when the mudslide hit, rode the mudslide down the mountain on the couch and survived.  We cannot even imagine such things, and yet the prayers of protection this woman prayed, in her desire to create some good in a tough situation, helped to save these people’s lives. Instead of feeling guilty that she still had a home, she and her kids got to work helping her community.

As the angels say, we need not feel guilty about feeling good. We need not hang onto the stories of our problems. Far better to get going doing something positive in our lives or the world. We need not feel bad when we can feel blessed.

Look at the little children. They look for the good and get fussy when they can’t find it.  They get knocked down, have a good cry, then look for something good again. They don’t dwell on the past for long. They don’t worry much about the future. They want their joy now. They help each other. We were all designed this way. And, in the vibration of love we attract what we need.

The people in North Carolina who lost homes, family members, and whole towns are not whining on the YouTube videos. They are praising God for the volunteers who have come from all over the world. They are giving thanks for the bottles of water being sent and the search and recovery folks who have flown in to volunteer for the insanely difficult task of recovering the bodies of those who died. Flood victims are helping others the minute they receive what they need. These are people of faith, showing our world the way out of the unthinkable, and that it all starts with their appreciation and love. As one lady said, “I don’t care what race you are. I don’t care how much money you have. I don’t care if you’re a Republican or Democrat; if you need help, I’m here.” And that is the human heart, the human soul, in all its beautiful glory, loving like we intended to love.

As we appreciate all that is good in our lives, no matter how great or small, and as we are the good souls that we are, the grace of the Divine is revealed in so many ways, in so many interactions, and in so many miraculous delights.

Here are a few pointers to keep this in mind during the holiday season…

1.  Obsess over something good

Whether you love the holidays or dislike them, there are always things to appreciate. Pick something every day. Choose to think about that thing or person or place as often as you can throughout the day. Think of why you appreciate it, how good it makes you feel, what you like about it, etc. Milk that good thought for all it is worth and see how your feelings respond and your day unfolds.

We can easly find negative things to obsess over. Why not find something good to obsess about?

2. Be kind to yourself

Whether you love the holidays and get stressed with too many invitations or hate the holidays and feel all alone, be kind to yourself. Be honest with yourself about what you want to do and who you want to do it with. You can be kind and polite but to thine own self be true.

Years ago when I was single I had just moved and was feeling sorry for myself because I was alone on Christmas and it wasn’t a Normal Rockwell poster with family and friends, when it dawned on me that there were no “Christmas Rules.” I stopped beating myself up for feeling bad, looked for the good, noticed it was a nice day, and went for a hike.

I climbed Camelback mountain where a group of strangers at the top felt like family, sharing warmth and stories, and even a bagpipe song by one foreign exchnage student who had aslo climbed to the top.

The kinder we are to ourselves, the more easily the guidance flows.

3. Do something good that naturally feels good

The holidays give us a great excuse to give. I used to like to buy the toys for underpriviledged kids. Now I have other charities. A woman I once knew volunteered to work at a chocolate factory. Another wrapped present for charity. You might just sit in your cozy home and send ripples of peace and appreciation out into the universe. Whatever good feels naturally good to you, do it 🙂

When we do something authentically with love, everyone wins.

There will always be people better off and those significantly worse off than we are. We need not feel guilty about feeling good. It is far better to attune to love, feel love, and then love in this world where so many need it. In the simplest or the grandest of expressions, the vibration of love is always the same.

Start small. Appreciate just one thing, and then notice how good that makes you feel. Imagine sending that good feeling out to all, and as you do so, allow the divine love to flow to you and through you. That’s not such a small start, after all 🙂