Generating happiness from within

Last week, I had a visit from a friend in heaven, who has been gone from this earth for some time. I was simply expressing my gratitude for our dance, when they showed up and surrounded me with an extraordinary love. Softness and sweetness engulfed me and my heart expanded. As we merged consciousness, I experienced the beauty of life on earth through the lens of their perception. It was exquisite beyond words.

On earth, a moment of moist air, cool breeze, the setting sun, and the sound of rolling thunder in the distance might be nice, but when perceived from heaven, each moment is an exquisite opportunity to experience sensory delight and the beauty of the One love in many forms. God touches God, sees God, feels God, and hears God through the filter of our physicality. I felt the wonder woven into such a moment and burst into tears.

Heaven is beyond words too, in a different way. We have spirit bodies. We interact with each other and can do anything we enjoy on Earth. But there’s something so physical about Earth, and the best I can describe it is that we can sit on the beach and feel the sand in our toes and smell the waves, or we can imagine it vividly. If you have a good imagination, you might be able to almost feel the sand and breeze, imagine hearing the ocean waves, and smell the salty air. Nonetheless, there’s something truly remarkable about the delicious density of putting your real feet in real sand and perceiving the experience through the filter of your physical senses.

Instead of focusing on these exquisite moments, most of us, me included, are easily drawn into focusing on life’s challenges. Instead of slowing down to feel the warmth and taste the spice in my tea, I’m often answering emails. Instead of pausing to feel the sun on my skin and the subtle scent of mesquite in the air, I’ve often rushed to take out the trash. It is all too easy to miss the magic and the outpourings of love available in each moment.

is easy to get drawn into the challenges in life and forget the miracles. A majority of us learned to delay our happiness until some criteria were met. We could have dessert after dinner, play when the homework was done, relax after work, take time for fun on weekends or vacations, and do something for pleasure after the chores were done.

I’m happy most of the time, but like everyone else I’m also guilty of saying I’ll be happier when… “when I finish all the paperwork,” “when everyone I love is healthy,” “when I have the time for 8 hours sleep a night,” etc. Invariably, I catch myself and ask, “Why not be happier now?” “What can I do to be happier now?”  I wait and my inner self answers.

Tonight, the answer was mopping. I love the fresh feel of clean floors and the fresh, clean scent. So I pulled out the mop and made the floors sparkle.  That was an external thing, of course. It isn’t “cheating” to find joy wherever you can in the external world. It is empowering, however, when you can also create it from within. Yesterday, I tapped into bliss simply by thinking about all the beautiful people I am blessed to know. When I’m in the cold plunge for three minutes, I find joy within by focusing within on feelings of peace and love.

There have been so many times in my life when I, like most of us, allowed the outer world to destroy my joy. It can still wobble me from time to time, but after listening to the angels for years I know I can go within and find feelings that soothe, uplift, inspire, and even make me smile from within for no good external reasons.

It can seem almost absurd at times to be happy when life is not making it easy. I had fun in the emergency room with a friend a few months ago and raised him up instead of being stuck in self-pity and worry over what I couldn’t control.  My muscles ached like crazy last weekend after hauling decorations for fall, but thinking about holidays, food, and friends, made the work flow and the body relax. Another dear one is grappling with medical issues now, and I’m focused on simply loving them through it.  Love always feels good. Our minds often tell us we “shouldn’t” feel good when life doesn’t offer the good feelings easily. I’ve stopped listening to those limiting voices.

It is all too easy to deny ourselves the better feelings in life. We’re conditioned to wait for the outer world. It is easier to feel better when life is all in order, the bills are paid, the people we care about are doing well, and the world is at peace. Thank God we are able to enjoy those conditions at times. But we need not be at the mercy of the outer world. We need not allow it to dictate our inner world and feelings.

Finding those good feelings within takes practice, but it is an investment of effort that pays back richly over time.

Here are a few ways to practice finding good feelings from within…

1. Take note of “Your Favorite Things”

In the movie, “Sound of Music,” Julie Andrews sings the classic song, “My Favorite Things,” in which talks about how she thinks of her simple favorite things when circumstances are fearful or unpleasant. Since it isn’t easy to recall your favorite things when life presents an unpleasant situation, the angels have helped me find several ways to collect such thoughts so they’re available when I’m in need.

I have a “Book of Happy Thoughts” where I record beautiful thoughts, happy moments, and things I love. If I have an off-moment, I open the book and smile as I feel the energy of my “favorite” things.

Alternatively, you can write favorite things on slips of paper and put them in a beautiful box or jar. You can make a list, or create a pinterest board, or a collage. You can throw happy pictures in a box.

Then, when life is challenging, you can look at your list, book, box, or board, and shut your eyes to reconnect with the feelings that your favorite things inspire within.

2. “Whistle a Happy Tune”

Another fun song we heard growing up was “Whistle a Happy Tune,” — a sweet song about using music to feel better.  While you could turn on the radio and listen to a song, when you sing or whistle a happy tune, you are creating a positive chemistry within your body, elevating your mood and calming stress. There’s even science to back this.  The good news is you don’t even have to have to be able to carry a tune! So when you feel upset, try singing something fun, uplifting, or humorous.

3. Smile

The facial expression of a smile inspires a feel-good chemistry in the body, including dopamine (pleasure and reward), endorphins (natural painkillers), and serotonin (helps mood regulation). It has also been shown to calm stress and anxiety. When you smile, you’ll feel a little inner shift. There is nothing like generating your own inner feel-good pharmacy!

4. Count your blessings

One of my favorite ways to create good feelings from the inside out is to count my blessings. I spend time thinking about all I have to be grateful for, starting with the simplest yet most profound things. I can breathe. I can see the sky. I can feel a breeze.  I love my socks.  Whether these things are in front of me or not the act of appreciation connects me with good feelings from within.

If you make yourself do this when not feeling so great, you might react with the “yeah buts.” “Yeah, but so what? My loved one still died.” “Yeah, but so what? I still have bills.” “Yeah, but so what. My spouse left me.”

If counting your simple blessings doesn’t uplift you, but rather inspires a case of the “yeah buts,” try one of the first three things, which might be easier at the time. Always go for what feels best to you.

I think we all love it when the outside world and the people around us make it easy for us to feel good. Nonetheless, there is power in being able to call up these good feelings from within. I no longer get defensive and angry when people don’t act as I wish. I just let them be and go back to my joy. I no longer let political commercials drive me nuts, but instead find the humor in the human condition.  I no longer let the world define my happiness, joy, or abundance. I go within and find it and let God mirror it back to me.

These habits take a little time to develop, and at times, you’ll have huge resistance to feeling good. That’s OK. Sometimes, we have to have a hissy or a torrent of tears. Show yourself mercy, but then when you are able, grant yourself permission to feel good, and allow life mirror to mirror that good right back to you.